Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts

Saturday, February 04, 2017

Living in the moment


It was a day like any other day filled with learning & laughter & anguish & questions & answers & no answers & ...

The day was unusually warm and humid which added to the tribulations going on in my mind with the thoughts in my mind. While all that was going on, the sky had its share of clouds floating around for the sun to play hide and seek with it. It seemed to be keeping pace with my mind.

As I walked down the quite road back to my resort, I aimlessly decided to head towards the sea and witness the beautiful sun go down the sea while playing with the clouds.  I walked up to the beach aimlessly and sat down at a spot with a 'thud'... I let my legs spread in front of me with my back arched forward and hands playing on the soft sand of Cherai. I let my mind wander on the day with eyes looking at the sun settling its business for the day with the sea.. I stared at the sun and then at the sea as the sun rays shimmered over it.

The glare was strong for me to move my focus from the water bed to that of the little boy playing with the waves in front of me. He would jump at the waves coming towards him and then chase it back into the sea as the waves receded... Run back again as the new waves would touch his feet. He was doing that with laughter and freedom, not being bothered about anything but the waves, which seemed to keep pace with the boy's laughter and run up & down the beach...

After the boy left the beach, I was all alone in my world looking at the last few rays that were split across the sky by the clouds. The sun was not in its full form but its beauty was printed on the sky like the little boy playing with his new friend and learning the art of being in the moment...

As I got up to leave the beautiful Cherai beach with the sun having gone down leaving space for the moon to spread its wings of calmness on the vast sea, the Ocean said to me..

इस लम्हे में रहो और ऐश करो', 
खुद से सवाल मत कर.. 
ज़िन्दगी इन्ही लम्हो से बनती है ,
इसी में खुशियां है, जो तुझी में है 

(Enjoy the moment that you are in, Stop questioning yourself. Life is made of these moments.. Live in its happiness for you have it in YOU!!)


Saturday, September 17, 2016

Journey of Faith!!


Into the dark alleys,
In search of the light.

Cold chill gripping my feet,
hoping for some warm water to thaw.

Splattered around is filth left by many,
raising stink to be scooped up into the bin.

A growl from the sleeping dog in the dark,
warning not be to steered from its slumber.

The mind wanders endlessly,
Into my deep dark fears of endless agony.

I keep walking deep into those dark corners,
with a hope of finding my stars through my fears.

The others said, it was a death wish!!
To me, it became a journey of faith.

Sunday, July 10, 2016

You!!!


You are the star glowing in the night,
To guide the caravan in the desert.
You are the stick for the blind,
To guide me away from potholes and vehicles
You are the warmth in my life,
To keep me glowing in my downturns.
You are the happiness in my dreams,
To help them being a reality.
You are the one, I choose to be
To keep me going in the Flow!!!

You & I are the one, in the flow...



Sunday, May 01, 2016

Fighting couples.. Thank you!!!

It was 8 am in the morning and we (Minakshi & I) had to step out to get some groceries. As I steered the two wheeler out of the apartment complex, I saw that there was red colour zoom car parked on road side of the empty road patch. My eyes scanned inside the car to see that there was a couple and the guy was looking at the girl with pleading eyes, while the lady had a grumpy face not looking at him at all. I looked over my shoulder at Minakshi who seemed to have sensed what I wanted to tell her. We both broke into laughter remembering that we were fighting in the same manner just a couple of hours back.

We both laughed and moved on, but I seem to have an itch to go and knock on the car window and talk to the couple. But, was hesitant. I had  already moved on, and as the moment had lapsed I go more skeptical and scared to reach out to them. Minakshi stated, it is their personal moment and I replied that, "being a human I felt a connect, I need to tell them". Something happened and I just turned the vehicle and parked my bike right in front of their car. Minakshi decided to stay there, and I got down from the bike. By this time I have got the attention. It felt to me like a moment of truth and now no turning back.

I asked for a min and requested for the guy to roll down the window. With a smile I stated talking to the startled eyes and from the back seat the lady peeped in over the shoulders with question marks on her face.. I stated..

"Sorry, to have bothered you at your private moment but I have to share this. You see we both (showing towards Minakshi & self) just passed you guys a few moments ago and what we saw in the car made us recollect the way we fought in the morning hour. I was pleading and she was grumpy and we exchanged roles too. What we saw, lightened up our life so thank you but do not fight. Have a good day and thank you!!!" 

The guy could not even respond a word, the lady had started giggling. Minakshi was feeling shy and I was sweating... I did not know what to do after that and I said, "I am sorry to have interfered in your private moment, carry on please..." folding my hands ... I rushed to the bike.. Minakshi was like, leave....

The bike also played its part by not starting to get stated immediately, finally it came to life and we turned the bike and moved, giving a thumbs up sign to the guy who still seemed confused. We both were laughing at what we had done and I was feeling good thinking of what I did which in any circumstances I would have avoided..

Thank you to those wonderful couple who enlightened our day!!!

Saturday, April 23, 2016

It was me!!

He kept staring at me,
for I knew not what was it with me!!

He seemed to laugh with me,
When I laughed with an open heart!!

He was weeping the loudest,
As I sat quietly and wept on my sorrows!!

He seemed to tell me of my moves,
even before I crossed them!!

As I wandered in my lost world,
It kept guiding me, though I ignored him!!

When I heard him, the glass seemed to have shattered,
For once I felt, I was one with him..

It was the force that always guided me...
Waiting only to be met at the crossroad of realisation!!

It was me!!

Friday, April 15, 2016

Perceptive Scare!!

It was my first time travel to Europe and more so to fashion and cultural hub, Paris. As usual a lot of my friends had given me a cautious warning about the thugs and petty thief prevalent in Paris, more so you are all alone there...

"Be careful about your passport and money"

Oh boy!! I was almost clutching and checking on my pockets for my passport and purse the moment I landed at CDG airport. Felt being foolish and stupid doing that... Anyway, the tape recorded had started playing and I was dancing to its tune. I found out about the metro and got in. The moment I sat down, it seemed everyone was waiting to snatch my little money and the passport. As the train chugged along, I was distracted by the beauty of the nature outside and i stopped playing the record. But with every stop, it would come back.. "Do you see that white guy looking like a thug?? That black guy, that asian.. oh boy!!"..

As the train stopped at "Gard du Nord", I stepped out with my luggage and tried to talk to someone, who outright said, "No English" and I lost in French translation.. blinking.. Someone, spoke to the cops and made my way out of the station. As I stepped out, I felt I was back in India, with the litter and beggars stretched out. I held my luggage tighter after zipping up my jacket... I even avoided making an eye contact with any one, till I realised that my GPS was out and what worked was only the map that I had printed out with the route.. But, "Which is north and east, the paper could not move like a compass".. Grr, Sid... take hold of yourself and ask!!" That seemed to have woken me up somewhere, and I started asking every passerby... after some five attempts one guy seemed to know english and he helped me... I literally started running through the deserted lanes... the words kept coming back again... "Your PASSPORT, your MONEY"... After running for close to 1 1/2 kms, I reached the nearby metro close to the hotel I was to check in. And that place was swarming with people who were trying to sell cigarettes to things that seemed inappropriate.. Couple of them approached and I ran as if I was on a mission of being invisible and not to be traced.

Well somehow I managed to reach my hotel and once in the room, took stock of what had happened and why?? That late evening I again stepped out and just wandered around the streets. Realised that

  • I was over-reacting. Yes I needed to be guarded but not to the extent of panicking. I was asking for more trouble.
  • I lost out on enjoying the space around me and the beauty of the place. I had some moroccan food that evening that I did not even notice.
  • While returning back, I realised how beautiful Gard du Nord station was. I paused and took some pics, soaked in the beauty and walked towards my train to CDG.. 
  • I have a choice of saying no, taking action rather than playing simply to the tune of my head, which seems looking for trouble rather than looking for some beauty around.
I must say that, I really learnt the choice that day and it helped me in the next few days that I stayed and roamed around the place.. It is amazing!!! more was the Choice of clearing the Perceptive scare.... :)

Saturday, December 19, 2015

PART - II, Where am I??

As Ravi edged his behemoth harder, he filled his faith on two things.. One off-course one was himself and the second was the 268 hp engine under the hood of his car. He turned up the volume of his music and oblivious to him, he had switched on a loud Hindi hip hop music which was never his taste. It some how soothed his jittery feelings. He was finding it hard to feel the road, but he kept raving the engine up. All off a sudden he realised that the water had climbed up to his window mirror and he could not see the car hood. He did not know what to do, and in all that his leg seemed to have automatically kept pushing on hard on to accelerator. The only solace was that there was no body in front of him.. His BMW felt like a bullock cart trying hard to move. He could sense that his back tyre was drifting towards right and it was having difficulty to find a grip.

He yelled out, "Good Lord, once more pls... I need to reach home... Help ME!!!"

It was as if his words were heard, the engine roared harder and made its way ahead, he sensed the water level around him was going down. He was able to see his car bonnet clearly now. Water kept receding. He looked at his rear view mirror for a second to see what had happened. That is where he realised that the water seemed to have been gushing out through one of the streets like a river and he happened to have just crossed a "Sangam" (River meeting the sea).  He made a silent prayer and thought all was over and he is now safe, oblivious of what was waiting for him ahead. He kept pushing his car and finally took a sharp right as he entered the community complex. It was a big one with apartments and Villa houses in the community. Ravi had never bothered to take notice of any of these or anything. Most of the times his focus was on the client calls that would last him till the time he reached home. Today he realised that it was after years that there were so many families and he had never bothered to think about any body there. He crossed the apartment complex and turned left towards his Villa rows which was lined with shrubs and some trees on both sides of the road. His house was the fifth as he entered the street. He could see Maya on the porch, eagerly waiting for him to come home. He cut left to park his car on the dry porch. He missed to see that there was a small stream of water flowing on the street. As he got down, he could not resist but hug Maya. It was Ravi more than Maya who was searching for reassurance of things being ok!!

They got in and Ravi got into playing with both his kids who were oblivious to what was happening outside. Ravi did not talk about his recent experience with Maya. He felt at ease. As the evening went on, the rain went on pounding as if it was angry with earth for some reason. By 10 pm he stepped out to the porch and was surprised to see that the water was at the porch and he was not able to see the small grass patch in front of his house. He sensed the porch bulb flickering. At that point he felt things to be really going bad with this non stop rain. He thought of the rain water drain and made a point to talk to the association, with whom he had never connected. He checked his car lock and then stepped back into the house, locking all the doors. Maya had ensured that the kids were tucked well in their bedroom in the first floor and had headed back into the living room on the ground floor. Ravi was in the kitchen making a coffee for them. He loved his late night coffee which he had got addicted to for the past three years now. He gave a cup to Maya and sat down on the sofa watching the news. News as usual was about things that never bothered the common man in the country but with sensationalisation every time. He was switching channels to see if there was anything about Chennai rains, but that did not seem sensational compared to the stupid clips being played over and over. Five mins later Maya asked Ravi "if he heard something unusual". He turned the TV mute but could not hear anything. At that moment he felt his feet wet. He looked down and looked at Maya asking if the Kitchen sink was open. She rushed in and found everything in place. She could sense that the water was coming from somewhere else. She looked around. By now Ravi was curious too and he looked at his main door and realised that the water was seeping in through that. He rushed to open the door. The moment he opened it, a gush of water rushed in. With lots of difficulty he could slam close the door. Water had entered his house and was seeping through the gap below. Not sure what to do, he told Maya go to the first floor, she insisted to stay on... Maya freaked out saying water was coming in through the kitchen door too... Now water had spread all across the ground floor like a carpet cover. Ravi put all his DVDs and surround system on the sofa and started to move up on the stairs. As they both moved up, the electricity went off but he knew that the DC will be up and running any second now. They waited as the seconds turned into minute, Ravi was slowly feeling the panic that he had inside the car. "My Car!!!"  Ravi freaked. Even before he could take a step forward, Maya held him saying "not now, let the water drain off. I am sure, this will go away". In the darkness he thought that was a better option.

They headed upwards as they could hear the kids calling for them. They got into the kids room and stayed there. They kept talking to kids and to each other as what would be happening below. Ravi said we can check it in the morning. In the darkness both of them slept off along with the kids in the same room. Ravi woke up and checked his pockets for his cell phone but then he realised that he had left his cellphone in the ground floor. He scrambled for a torch that he had never used. It had been lying patiently there in the cupboard gathering dust. He fumbled on the torch switch, which was not willing to switch on. He yanked it and at last there was light. He headed down towards the ground floor. He could hear the gurgling sound more clearly and now he was feeling tensed. As he reached half way down, he saw that water was already 2 feet in his living room and the steps seemed to be disappearing faster under water.  He felt scared, in the darkness he stepped back not sure what to do... He went back into the kids room and woke Maya up quietly. He told he what the situation was below. They both stepped out and watched what was happening to their beautiful house while feeling helpless. Maya reached out to her phone and checked the time, it was 4.30 am in the morning. Day light was still away!!! Maya thought for a while and left to her bedroom, she pulled out a bag and put in some of their clothes and also of the two kids. Ravi asked what she was upto, she stated it is a feeling if the water comes up at least we could have some for a change. Ravi did not argue with her as he was more lost in a state of shock.

The minutes were horrifying to wait, they could not sleep. Ravi could feel that the rains have abated for a while and now there was a mild drizzle. By 5.45 am there was a little bit of light, and he rushed towards the balcony to make sense of what was happening. He was shocked at what he saw and stood by the door of the balcony. He felt as if he was on a boat with water everywhere. He had a helpless feeling.  Maya came behind her and freaked out... she could see cars floating on the road right in front of her house. The next thought was where is their car and how would it be. By now, Ravi had reconciled to the fact that, save ourselves and survive. This is not an ordinary day. The next biggest thing was hunger, what will they eat and their kids... They had to hold on... Fortunately the rains had stopped but the water was gushing out with ferocity in front of them. If was as if they were staying on the river banks. Ravi saw a lot of his neighbours for the first time. All of them started waiving to each other and asking about their physical well being. He was responding to them but they all were worried. As the day wore on, the food being less they were managing with some biscuits and the water bottle in the kids room that Maya had brought last night. Every hour was agonising and the feeling of helplessness was becoming stronger. None of them could come down or move. The only solace was the balcony as someone or other was there on their balcony. They were trying to call for help. Some how to reach one another. The kids were getting hungry so somehow he and Maya asked for some food help from their neighbours. With what ever they could manage to get, they fed their kids. They stayed hungry with nothing much to do. The evening was more agonising as it was pitch dark and the torch light was also dying. The kids slept off hungry and Maya could not bear the helplessness that she was felling. She broke down and wept hard. Ravi was clueless. They had tried to reach out to their friends asking for some help. More so, food for the little ones. But so far not much that could be done.

The second day by 6.30am, Ravi could see someone coming towards their streets. He was stunned and it felt as if someone had chocked him, his voice could not come out. There was some noise from the neighbours. Hearing the voices, Maya had come out onto the balcony and started asking for food too, with a hope. The boatsman had exhausted with what ever he had by the time he reached Maya's balcony. He said in a very calm voice, "Ma, don't worry help is on its way. I will come back soon with food and milk for your kids." It seems eternity when after 2 hours the boats man back again. He had given some food and milk for the kids. He turned around and was about to leave, when Ravi pulled out a 500 rupee note to give him. The man said, "Sir keep it, I do not need it. Take care of your family". He had made 8 more trips that day with many more unknown faces who had food and some bedsheets to use. Ravi had put his hand forward when ever there was a need. Now more shamelessly for his kids and wife. Maya had not been sleeping. She would be looking at the ground floor with fear of the rising water and the other was the anxious eyes searching for some food and freedom.

The next day, as the water started to reduce there was hope of getting down into his ground floor.. Ravi was stunned by the impact. There was still knee deep water but everything of his beautifully  decorated house was destroyed. The sofa was on top of the music system. The new gas cylinder was floating around... more so, there were fishes everywhere. He ran up with tears in his eyes. Maya understood that the house was in shambles... They heard some announcements happening outside, and realised that the association members on their big apartment complex are asking them to come out of their houses so that they could feel the dry places that they have arranged in the nearby school. Maya was in a state of shock. Ravi was no better either. They got their kids and the little bag that Maya had got ready on the first day and got into the boat without any questions. They wanted to get out. As they moved out and came to the school, they were given new mats and bedsheets by their neighbours.

They had a proper bath and got to a corner of the school room. Ravi had put forward his hand for food. Maya had clutched her kids and slept off knowing that they were far away from water and were in human contact. She had not slept properly in the past three days and slept off.

Ravi ate the sambar rice that was served to him. He ate as if this was the first time he was seeing food. He broke down and wept like a kid. What use was his BMW, Villa, position in office, bank balance, foreign travel when all he wanted was a safe place for his kids and a three time meal for them. All of this was just his ego which was of no use when he really wanted. He made a resolve then and there to start connecting with people, helping others there and support in what ever that he could do.

He had just stepped out of the corner to go and help in the cooking when he heard Maya yell, "the water is coming up... Ravi help!!!"... Ravi ran back to her and hugged her, trying hard to comfort her...

It is two weeks now, they had gone back to their house. Cleaned it and trying to settle things. But still Maya has the fear of water gushing in and was finding difficulty in sleeping. She would wake up every now and then and check with Ravi "where am I??" Has the water come into the house??...

This Chennai Floods has brought in many of us come close to reality and the real meaning of life....

Sunday, December 13, 2015

PART I - Where am I ??!!

Where am I?? A question that the Maya kept asking every 2 hours...

After so much of struggle and having come to big city, Ravi wanted to make it big. A dedicated employee and had been a fast tracker all his life. If one had to look at his resume one would be stunned by the kind of growth and roles he had performed. He had always felt good about his growth and spoke about it often. He had been married for the last 10 years to Maya and have two wonderful kids both school going. With his hard earned money he had brought a villa at one of the posh and leading builders on the Old Mahabalipuram Road. The villa was slightly on the higher end but he could not resist his temptation to buy it. It very important as both Ravi & Maya as they loved to host small parties and to have a good social life this villa was perfect and idealistically located. He had taken a loan on 80% of the property cost and has been paying EMI religiously for the last 4 years. He was eagerly waiting to pay up the EMI. As time moved on he brought a BMW X3, which was now one year old was his darling. Well life was good and their other plans were building on. As the year end neared his plans for the much awaited family foreign trip was on. December was the month of holidays that this family of 4 eagerly awaited for.

It was 1st Dec'15 when the rain pour had started very early, rather it had started pouring on through out the night and early morning saw no stoppage. Well it was a big day at office for Ravi as he had some major deals to be finalised and was eagerly awaiting for its closure. He had rushed off to office by 8 am, inspite of Maya's insistence not to go. She was not feeling too good because of the rains and also wanted Ravi to stay and work from home. Well his X3 had ensured him reach office in luxury and quicker. It seemed to be a bad day for Ravi, the deal results were not out and the final results were getting postponed by another week. He was furious and was becoming impatient like the rains outside, which was pouring without a comma or full stop. It had been pouring continuously for the last 12 hours now. To distract himself he had poured himself into the activities and plans that he had kept aside. He had noticed that most of his colleagues had not come to office. He did not bother to call them, rather was more happy in the work he was into. It was 2 pm and he felt hunger pangs. He had not bother to look at his cell phone which was on the silent mode. As he got up he realised that there were 6 missed calls from his wife. He had ignored all her calls. As he called her back, he could hear a feeling of anguish and scare. Maya again insisted for him to come back as it was pouring outside. He said that he would leave in a while and be home and not to be worried. He did not check on the rains post that.

Finally at around 5.00 pm he left his cabin and headed to the car parking, as he found the office to be rather empty and everyone was running away. That was the point he realised what a mess it was outside. It was dark and rain was pounding earth as if the heavens have opened up with anger and frustration. He hurriedly made his way to the parking lot in the basement. There was 1/2 feet of water there. He cursed the admin folks for not having pushed the builder to make better water draining arrangements. He got into the comfort of the car and played the music as the engine came to life. As he got out of the office parking he was invited by table tennis ball size water droplets hitting his windshield and the intensity of this was real high. His wiper blades had come to life the very instance and were running a 100 mtr sprint on the windshield. As he got out of the office and took the left onto the main road, he found that his car was wading through 2ft water. He remembered to make a quick call to Maya and tell her that he had started. She rattled out that the roads were bad and he should hurry. He cut the call and tried had to focus on the road. At Sholinganallur as junction he pushed his car 3 ft water and he could here the engine struggle as his car exhaust was trying hard not to let the water come in. Ravi kept pushing the accelerator on a rated flooded free road. At last after having come to the Junction close to Sathybhama college he took the right to get closer to his home. House was hardly another 3 kms. He found a no water patch and was glad that now he would reach home soon. No sooner had he finished his thought he saw that he was facing a sea in front of him. He was wondering what happened to the road...

He now on his mental map and GPS that showed him the road. Having pushed his car for another 300 mts, he realised that he could not feel the road. His cell phone rang and he knew it was Maya. He put his car speaker on. Even before Maya could say anything, Ravi started asking about his kids and what she is planning for dinner. He did not want the surrounding impact him in anyway. Now he was more determined to reach home, and he never wanted Maya to feel panicked at this point of time. He said to her that he will be there in another 15 mins and cut the call...

To be continued.....

Saturday, November 21, 2015

हर पल


हर पल में ज़िन्दगी बदलती है । 
हर पल, हर पल बदलती है॥ 
में बदलूं  या ना बदलूं।  
यह पल बदलता है॥ 

हर पल की नज़ाकत को समझ। 
उन लम्हों को एहसास कर॥ 
पानी की तरह बहता जा। 
अपने उन पलों को समेटता ज॥ 

हर मोड़ पे एक नई पहचान बना। 
हर रिश्ते में एक नयापन ला॥ 
छोड़ चल अपनी परछाईयों को। 
समेट ले उस नये यादों को॥ 

कुछ ख़ुशी के पल देता जा। 
उन ग़मों को भूलता जा॥ 
एक खटै मिठास सी सुरुवात है। 
घोलता जा अपने उन नये पलों में॥ 

हर पल में ज़िन्दगी बदलती है । 
हर पल, हर पल बदलती है॥ 

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Fishing!!!

Have always been fascinated the way, the fishermen throws the net in the water to catch a bounty. The view of them throwing either standing a little away from the shoreline or from the boats / catamarans in the early hours of the day is mesmerizing for me. Always used to think of how easy it is make that throw and grab the fishes, till the moment I myself grabbed one recently.


 I happened to be at one of the inner connecting road between OMR (Old Mahabalipuram Road) and ECR (East coast Road) where there are lots of migratory birds. I had taken my camera to shoot these lovely colourful birds. That is when my wife and I met Prasanna. A driver by profession but a fisherman to fill his spare time and make some extra money.

He said that he has been catching fishes for the last 3 years and found it exciting. When we met him, he had already done one round of throwing his net and getting the first catch of six good sized fishes. We got excited and asked him, if we could try our hand at it. He was spirited and said why not... Little did we know then, that he was having fun at our expense...


Well, though it seemed fun but he was a good teacher... he taught us how to wrap the net around our fingers and then the arm. Once that was done, he spread the lower open end of the net around the left arm and a good part of the lower end in right hand. My wife tried and then she very eagerly asked me to try.. I was glad to repeat the process. As I was doing that, I asked my Guru Prasanna,

Me - What is the weight of this simple looking net?? I am feeling a small pain in my left arm..
Guru - Sir, not much, just 4 Kgs.
Me - What!!!, I feel like I am holding 10 Kgs or more...
Guru - No worries sir, you will get used to it...
Me - Yeah, so true... given the burden we carry every day back from office!!!

Anyway, my freaking ego that I could do this simple thing was burning too hard to douse. More so, my wife was enjoying the whole show standing behind (Cursed male ego!!)

Once having tied the net around my arm, I slowly stepped into the cold cold water. I could well feel the muddy slippery base of the water bed... Thanks to National Geography (magazine & TV), I was thinking about the world of worms and germs that would be seeping in through my feet into my biological system and what all would happen. Damn!! those momentary few second, I also imagined myself in the hospital bed... I snapped out as my Guru told me to release the net. After steadying my feet,I threw the net as hard and as far I could.. Splash!!! wow, i could throw if 2ft away a 4 kg net. My Guru then said, Sir!! You should have released the wire too.. oh!! goodness, I forgot the complete release..

Anyway, two tries later, I said to him politely, "Boss, you are the guru, please carry on". My hands were aching by then and I got behind the camera to get back to the business that I was used to.. But, I loved the new experience that I got!!! It was kwel...

Realized, what may look easy only comes after lots of practice... Those fishermen on Catamarans must have got their skills too well grooved, one to balance and second to make that throw on their shaky platforms!!!

Well at the end, I did what I always do the best, ate the fish that my Guru had caught. Yummmm...

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Love thy Child

As the plane halted for disembarkation, heard the sweet voice of the hostesses saying it being safe to switch on your cell phone and get back to the chaotic lives of the city.. blah.. blah... A few mins later my attention was grabbed by an over excited mother (I think speaking to her kid, after having spoken to her family member of her arrival and plane being landed) on the cell phone a few seats away from mine. I was captivated by the communication that went on:

Mother (M) -  Tell me my sweetheart, what do you want.... Don't be shy, tell your mama..
Child (C) - Ice cream

M - "NO", it is raining and cold out there (I peeped out of the window, to find a clear sky and wondered the city being cold!!!).. you will catch fever, no no..

M - Tell me what do want, don't be shy my sweet heart, tell your mama.. she will get it.. tell me...
C - Chocolate
M - You know, you should not eat chocolates, it is bad for health and teeth. You should reduce it.. No No.. not good for you.

After a few seconds of silence..

M - Tell me sweety, what do you want.. your mama will get it (Mothers can be persistent.. I must say!!!)

I think the child was confused by now as I heard only silence... more so, thank God the crowd started to move...

M (now on a hasty note) - Don't be shy, tell me... Ok, will buy some toys and come.. ok... now bye, see you at home.

The mother got up from the seat and started to move, that is when I saw the lovable mother had a toy box in her hand for her sweet heard kid...

This got me wondering..

At Office - The management asks us through various surveys what the employee wants but ends up giving what is decided. Is the Mother also replicating her stand at home.

As Parents - are we raising the expectation and then spoiling the dreams that our kids could have had because of our raising expectations. When they get used to breaking of their dreams and getting what we have for them, at a ripe age we then ask them... "Why don't you dream and achieve it??".. Are we being fair to it..

It was a momentous truth that seemed to have hit me.. also, on second thoughts, are we playing our parents, or we being ourselves...


Saturday, July 26, 2014

Let me be!!!

What seems small for you...
It could mean the world to me.

What you call insignificant..
It could mean very valuable.

What you may not care for..
I could die if, I did not preserve it.

What makes you happy..
could make me wonder why!!

What you chase..
It could never be mine.

We may have shared a path
but, my destiny is mine!!

You have loved your path and life..
Trust me, so do I for the path I chose in this life of mine!!!

Saturday, July 12, 2014

खुली किताब

केहता रहा सबसे ।
खुली किताब सा हूँ मैं ॥

पर वज़न इतना।
की उठा नहीं सकता कोई॥

कोरे से कागज़ पे।
सफेद स्याही से लिखा हूँ अपना कच्चा चिट्टा॥

अल्फ़ाज़ इतने उल्झे ।
कोई इक कड़ी भी समझ न पाए कोई ॥

चाहता हूँ बार, समझे कोई ।
पर हर कोशिश पे, अपने ही सन्नाटे में सेहम सा जाता हू।

असर इतना खुदी पे।
की हर कोशिश पे, खुद ही सील देता हूँ खुद को ॥

 ऊमीदे की लहर है,  बदलेगी मेरी सोच।
खुदी को खुद ही समझ लूँ में कभी॥

Sunday, March 16, 2014

पेहचान ले

हर कोइ अपनी ही लड़ाई में आगे है ।
पर हर पल सोचता है, किसी और से आगे बढ़ना है॥

दो पल कि जिंदगी मैं ।
अपने साये को पीछे छोड़ने कि कोशिश है ॥

है चाहत खुदसे तो, पूछ लो अपने ज़मीर से।
हर पल उसके वक़्त ने क्या चाहा है॥

हर बार पलट के येही आयेगि।
तू है खूबसूरत, उससे भी ज़यादा खूबसूरत तेरी ज़िन्दगी॥

खुदी को ले ढूंढ, आपने आप को पहचान ।
उसी में खुसी है, न कोई बैर ना लड़ाई।

आपने ही लम्हों में, खुदी को जी लेंगे।
अपने इसी खुसी में, जिले आपनी ज़िन्दगी को ॥

Saturday, March 01, 2014

मेरी रंगीनियां

मैं  ढूँढता रहा ज़िन्दगी में रंगीनियां और नयापन।
पर भुला सा बैठा  खुद के चले पथ को देखना ॥
मेरे इस पथ में इतने मोड़ हैं ।
जितनी हसीँ के ठहाके छूटे, और ग़मों कि आंसूं निकले ॥

कितने सारे रिस्ते जोड़े ।
कुछ छूट गये वक़्त के साथ, तो कई गड़ गये मेरे संग ॥
जो छूट गऐ उन्हें भुला न सका,जो जुड़ गऐ उन्हें याद न किया ॥

ईरादे कई किये, कई सपनों के संग।
वक़्त ने हर बार किया मुझे दांग॥
कुछ में इरादे थे पक्के, पर कोशिश था कम॥
कुछ गऐ छूट, तो कुछ रहे अधूरे॥

 हर बार सोचा कुछ करूँ नया या अलग।
लाऊं कुछ नयापन अपने में।
भूल बैठा कि हर सोंच में, मैंने एक नया इंसान को देखा।
एक नया नाटक बनते और बिगड़ते देखा।
हर लम्हे में एक रंगीनियां और नयापन देखा॥

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Feel me Rise!!!


My mind runs amok,
like the wild horse without any reins.

It keeps seeking for the new horizons,
without any fear or guilt of loss.

Trying always to set me free and make me soar high,
like an eagle in the clear blue sky.

For my soul seeks no boundaries
breaking all the shackles of my fear.

Wanting to burn a lamp in the windy meadows,
yearning every bit to brighten my day.

With all my energy that i could share,
Oh! my friend feel me rise, with every breath that I take.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Laughter of Hope!!!

The clouds are so grey and deep
My sunshine finds it very difficult to peep
the winds that fly so hard and fast
seems to be the only hope for my time to pass

The surrounding around me deepen to black
Leaving me struggling to come back
for my life beyond is also searching for a union
but the time that flies, pushes me in my deep grey
But as I push to peep again, i gain my strength

with every gold bursting in the sky through those grey
the union with below shines to glow...
with a tear of joy and a laughter of hope!!!



Sunday, November 17, 2013

Little things of joy!!!

Oh boy!! Sitting and watching the rain come down is so so wonderful. .
 
For me it seems to be so therapeutic, the dark skies and the little drops coming down.. makes me think when was the last time that I just sat down and just admired the beauty of nature.
 
There has been times that one keeps running so hard and there seems so much to do or achieve that do we tend to miss the little little things around us ignore.
 
I ask myself when was it that:
 
  * I walked on the grass barefoot
  * Just sat down watching the sun go down
  * listened to my music with my eyes half closed.
  * Cooked my food at leisure for some one I love
  * Watched my kid play without any interference.
  * Just look at my spouse and quietly tell her "I Love You"
  * Read my book and then dreamt about the pages.
  * Have not strive to impress someone else but my self alone.
.
 
Oh I think my list can go on... and am sure all of us have a list for ourselves to reduce our pace of life and enjoy life as it comes... :-)

Friday, October 11, 2013

Vice

How hard I try to stay away from a vice, i am back working with it.  The harder I think to be away from it, the closer I seem to get.

On the contrary, when I am onto something new, I tend to forget anbout it and I am at peace untill I realize that I am missing something in my life. It may sound so funny but the reality is that I do not have to try too hard.  It is a part of life. 

So the question that I tend to ask is, so what is a vice?? Is it something that I spend most of the time and at the end get nothing out of it apart from off course the guilt of doing the vice. But I do accept that at the end of this nothingness I am left with s hollow guilt for which I may tend to hate myself.

The most amazing part that in spite of knowing all this... I still end of being a slave to the vice. Oh man!!!

Now let me stop worrying and start something new...

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

The Crossroads

The crossroads, I go by
Seem like a churn in the ocean
Making me wonder, which way to go
The turbulence I feel, is so much for me to wonder

The choices I make,
Are for me to carry…
The burden of failure
Is for me to wonder
I pause at the crossroad, and feel the churn

I laugh, I cry and I go dry
where to go and I wonder
The options are many,
But, I can think of none
At every crossroad, I feel the churn

The only option, that I miss
is to look back and run
to my old comfort from where I come
I urge to move and make one more choice,
But, at every crossroad, there is a churn